Children respond extremely well to rules and boundaries. They make them feel secure as they know what to expect. They help our children respect us as if we set proportionate and consistent consequences they will understand we are being fair. By having agreed boundaries we can calmly and consistently follow through when rules are broken but remember, it is important to show our children that we disapprove of the behaviour, not the child. One way to that you can set this up is by creating an agreed routine for the family to stick to. This is especially helpful with mornings and bedtimes. A time that we all struggle with sometimes! Why not sit down with your children and create a checklist for mornings and evenings. Try and stick to this every day. Have a look at the example checklists below to give you some ideas, you could even draw some pictures on the checklist and colour it in!

Children crave the attention of their parents or carers and will do anything to receive this attention. If they are not receiving our attention by behaving well they will misbehave. A great way to ensure that we are giving our children the right attention is praising them but the amount of praise we give our children and the way we praise them makes a big difference to how they behave. Making sure that we use descriptive praise rather than general praise will make our children feel valued, build their confidence and skills. Another great way to develop more positive behaviours is to create reward charts. Reward Charts are a quick and easy way to get our children behaving. They help to reward the right kind of behaviour making it more likely that our children will act like that more often in the future. Try out descriptive praise and see how easy it is to notice the good behaviours that your children are showing, however small. Another great benefit of descriptive praise is that it’s FREE! Make a reward chart with your child.

• Get your child to write their name on the top of a piece of paper
• Write one or two things that you would like them to get better at, eg getting ready for bed, getting ready for school
• Agree a treat that they will get when they reach the end of the chart, remember to try to make this something you can do together rather than something that will cost a lot of money
• Get creative! Decorate the outside of the chart with stickers, glitter and anything else that your child likes
• Every time you child does well at the behaviours you have chosen, ask them to stick or draw a star next to their name
• When they have got 10 stars, it’s time for the treat!

Other types of Reward Charts: Make some ‘mystery reward envelopes’ so when your child reaches 10 stars they can choose a reward, what might it be? Instead of a chart you might want to use marbles or balls. Get an empty jar and when your child does well at the behaviour on the jar add a marble or ball. Once they get to 10 they get a treat!

Your Content Goes HereDo you sometimes feel like it is easier to let your children do what they want than to deal with the tantrums? If we want our children to respect the rules we set, they need to know that we mean business. That means following through with consequences, even if it may feel easier to give. If your child doesn’t believe there will be any consequences for their behaviour they’re not likely to do as they’re told. Remember to not feel guilty about giving your children a consequence to their behaviour. Your job is not to be your child’s best friend. It is to teach them that there are consequences for their behaviours and where the boundaries are. If you back down they will think that they can talk you out of anything and their behaviour will get worse. Don’t nag, shout at, or plead with your child to do what you ask. This gives them a chance to argue with you or get angry. Instead, use short, snappy phrases and a no-nonsense voice to give your instructions. If your child misbehaves use ‘3 strikes and you’re out’ If your child does something wrong for the very first time, explain why it is wrong but don’t discipline them. The next time they do it ensure that you do.

Getting enough sleep has a powerful impact on children’s behaviour and concentration but sometimes it is difficult to get them into a good bedtime routine. You already have the Morning and Evening Checklists now add the Bedtime Hour 10 Tip Countdown to your child’s bedtime routine for a peaceful night for the whole family. *If tomorrow is a school day

Lashing out at our children unfairly will make them feel angry and insecure. It will also confuse them about what’s acceptable behaviour and what’s not. Think back over the last week and write down 3 times that you have flipped out unfairly at your child and why it happened. If we notice when we’re doing it, we can stop it.

Making our children feel loved will allow them to be confident in exploring the world and building their skills. It is easy to assume that our children know that we love them, but much harder to constantly show it. Here are a few ways to make your child feel loved:

• Eat meals together
• Brag about how well they are doing
• Ask your child’s opinion
• Ask open ended questions about their day (these are questions that cannot be answered with a yes or no)
• Spend a whole day together
• Hug them
• Tell them stories of when they were babies
• Tell them how much you love spending time with them

Homework plays a really big part in helping your child learn and develop, and as parents, you should be on hand every night to make sure your child does their homework and to offer help and support. Try following the 10Rs to make homework easier:

Routine – set a time for school work and try to stick to it.

Run around – encourage your child to burn off excess energy before settling down to work – how about dancing to their favourite tune or 20 star jumps?

Re-fuel – some healthy food and drink before school work will help them concentrate.

Right environment – try creating a quiet, clutter free space for school work.

Refresh – encourage regular short breaks.  Doing something different will help them focus when they return to work.

Ready to help – stay close by to offer encouragement when they are struggling.  You do not need to know the answers to support your child – try instead to ask questions like ‘What does your teacher tell you to do when you are stuck?’ or ‘How would your best friend approach this?”

Reframe – help your child to see things they find tricky as fun challenges. Try saying something like “It’s good you are being stretched to learn something new” or share a time when you found something difficult and how you felt when you achieved it.

Reward – praise your child when they have worked hard and remember to reward them with a fun activity after, or a call with their best friend.

Relax – make sure your child has time to relax, have fun and wind down as well as doing schoolwork.

Resist – help your child to resist temptations and stick at homework until it’s done by setting a school work routine, agreeing on some fun stuff to do at other times and sticking to your guns.

And we would like to add one more… Remember to be kind to yourself. Supporting your children with their school work is hard, and you are not a teacher.  It is really important that you take time to prioritise looking after yourself – if you are stressed and exhausted you cannot be there for your children.